I spent the day once more working on my wagon, climbing up once more to the one that thought it would win, I have news for it, I rarely give up on anything or anyone. When I do, there is usually no going back. I work as I often do without fanfare or hoopla, I simply do the things that I need to take care of. I watch some of the women that mingle about and the words spoken, I do have to smile sometimes at what I see and hear.
Some spoke of how a woman should look to be beautiful or feminine, some I found interesting some I found absolutely ridiculous, and I found laughter bubbling out as amusement danced in the deepest depths of my eyes. The way I see it, and I only would speak for myself and no other woman, while I may not be delicate, I am not frilly, girlie or other words that could be used. I am definitely very womanly and very feminine. Because being feminine is not about what you wear or do, it is the aura of a woman, the essence of a woman, the way she moves, smiles or touches, it is a mystery that can not be defined or captured you either have it or you don't. I know I have it, I have seen it in Cana, in Yamka , in Seveya and in Mezoo, and a few others, it is still in its infancy as they are all young, but it is still there. When they become older it will be something to see for it will burn brightly and eternally. My hands show a life of hard work, but they are hands that have healed, caressed, soothed, delivered life, delivered death, inspired passion and wiped away tears and so many other things, I would not change them for soft,thin fragile skin. Because of all that I have been thru in life, when they move they tell a story, give you a glimpse of knowing there is something more than you see, there is a gracefulness in each turn of the wrist, each movement of the fingers holds a mystical ancient secret, that beckons and lures you to want to know the story, leaving you wanting more.
I may not wear skirts as many do, but I do not fault those that do for it is their choice and it is neither wrong or right, I have a few, now wouldn't that just shock everyone, I will even wear one every now and then, but usually it is for a reason. And those reasons I am not sharing with anyone that is not a mate to me. Some things, are just better not known. There are a few things you will never catch me dead in, one is something frilly or fancy it has no place on the plains, I can see it now the winds and dirt would just rip it to shreds, that is why only dweller women wear them. I like my leathers they are practical for working and riding and getting under things, I can run in them and hunt in them, not to mention, ever notice how well the cling to curves, emphasizing each step taken, and by this age I know how I move, I have been told, there is a natural grace that flows thru a woman who knows herself and is comfortable with herself, add to it the predatory grace of a larl and it is something that can bring various reactions, depending on if used with an intentional provacativeness or just a natural unaware gait. I am very proud of my curves, there is no fat on my body, even though I have had thirteen children one a set of triplets, the reason is easy, I take care of myself in ways few guess. Granted I have scars, seven to be exact each one with a history and story behind it. My hands are marked and my feet, two of my teeth are sharpened and can easily rip human flesh apart, another unique thing that has a story. There are many things about me that make me who I am. But see it isn't how I look that makes me a woman.
It is the spirit, the fire, the life. There is an eternal flame of life that is within me, it is in my eyes if you look close enough, it has a promise of many things. Is is in my touch if you are one lucky enough to feel it in its full capacity. It is the passion that flows and swirls within me. I have been broken more than once in my life , nearly destroyed and near deaths door once, but I always got back up and emerged stronger and more determined. A bit tarnished and dented but I think it just adds to the allure.
There is no one thing that defines a woman, it is everything that makes her beautiful. It is the depth that is limitless and never ending, it is the unconditional gifts of caring and love that a few can give. Not all have this ability, I have only seen a few outside of myself. Because I can say I would and have done anything and everything for love. But then I am like that.
I had to return my thoughts from the discussion that had drifted to me and return to my work. I made my way among the wagons so that I could deliver the amulets and then cast the spells for the ones who sought some guidance, all know I will not create any that are designed to control the will of another or that will harm another, there has only been a couple of exceptions to the rule of no harming. But they were needed and validated. It was odd having sudden silence at my wagons as all the children were gone, doing various things.
Eventually I made my way towards the stream to join those that were gathered after I had finished a few tasks, I listened as I always do. Ayguili and Ongel were speaking of Cana, each had some valid thoughts and concerns, how to guide them on this would be a challenge as I can not tell them what to do, and I also cannot really explain what Cana is going thru,so I guided them in a subtle manner using what each had a concern of, I assured them physically she was fine and I explained to the healer various things I have been doing, and imparted a few tidbits of information that would help him to understand the situation, he seemed to approve of what I had been doing for her. I knew I was but you know sometimes you like to hear it from some one that you are doing something worthwhile . I spoke to Ayguili assuring him not to give up and for all to provide the positive thoughts and love for her. We spoke for a short time on various things regarding her, I think between the healer and myself we managed to give him hope and confidence. I am not sure I truly feel it but part of my role as a Haruspex is to offer guidance and support and give counsel, among many other things. He mentioned that the children were all with him and for a brief moment I felt a brief instant of hurt, was he saying I was not doing a good job, was I inept as a mother, I almost reacted, but I pushed the first reaction down and listened. That is the disadvantage of removing layers you tend to take things a bit faster to heart. After I thought about it, I realized that he was also helping me as Mezoo was, between the three of us her children are well taken care of and in need of nothing, the challenge is in making sure they do not lose sight of their mothers love and that she will return to them.
Ayguili has been going thru a lot the past few hands, a few have ripped him apart on various levels, they put steel in the mantle that he must carry, there are a few I would like to take a whip with razor edge tips dipped in a very strong concoction that burns down to the bone when it cuts into the skin, to teach them a few lessons. He is the Ubar, that is a fact that they need not forget, with that comes a certain degree of respect, now will he be perfect and will he make everyone happy all the time, not bloody likely. He will make a few mistakes, he will do things that none of us will agree with all the time, but the fact is if some took the time to sit and talk to him, not at him and not whining and nit picking at every little thing, they would find, he is fair, he will listen. He has been doing a very good job taking over as Ubar, I stand beside him and support him, that does not mean I agree with all things in fact there are one or two I would love to blister his ears over, because I strongly do not agree, but those are things I would speak of in private , not in public, I will never disrespect any man like that, well with one exception and to this day I will say there was no disrespect and even if there was that is because respect was not earned, respect is not given because you are a man, it is earned. It is a privilege an honor and a gift. Too many are only thinking of themselves and not of the tribe, he makes his choices based on what he thinks is right for the tribe. Now I dare anyone to say that they would be perfect and not make mistakes, and I dare anyone to say they can put the tribe before themselves, because I have been around many Ubars and I can say without a doubt very,very few have been able to. I think I will have to seek him out and sit and talk with him as a friend. Sometimes we all need that.
Eventually everyone left leaving me alone with the healer, and of course a new course of bantering would start as he said that I was afraid to be alone with him, which I countered with he was afraid of me. It was nice to sit and relax and enjoy some conversation, I enjoyed talking with him, he has some interesting thoughts, ones that every now and then would make me think, I like that, I enjoy such. It had substance and depth to it. He has some unique thoughts at least to me they are unique simply because I have not heard men voice them. I like how his mind works I can understand it. That is a rather scary thought. Now in this discussion came the thoughts of my clumsiness, which only added more fuel to the fire and in there was joking about how faint he had made my heart that I just fell into his arms. It is this teasing that has now lead to a bit of a joke between us about my weak heart, I find it funny. Damned if he didn't offer me tea, now I don't like tea, and he wants one of his girls to bring it, I did warn him about that. He seems confidante she will survive me, guess I should have warned him of how I remove eyes and make slave stew. I wonder if he would have believed it. For a bit longer we shared more thoughts on various things, and one thing I said caused a rather interesting reaction, I did not let on I noticed, but I did. And if I were honest, I would have to say I liked the fact he did react unexpectedly.
Eventually the time came that I needed to finish some work before I went to sit with Cana and see how all the children were. He walked me to my wagon and departed with a bit of humor.
Now, what will happen come morning. . . Will there be bloodshed or no?
Only the morning will reveal the answer.
Some spoke of how a woman should look to be beautiful or feminine, some I found interesting some I found absolutely ridiculous, and I found laughter bubbling out as amusement danced in the deepest depths of my eyes. The way I see it, and I only would speak for myself and no other woman, while I may not be delicate, I am not frilly, girlie or other words that could be used. I am definitely very womanly and very feminine. Because being feminine is not about what you wear or do, it is the aura of a woman, the essence of a woman, the way she moves, smiles or touches, it is a mystery that can not be defined or captured you either have it or you don't. I know I have it, I have seen it in Cana, in Yamka , in Seveya and in Mezoo, and a few others, it is still in its infancy as they are all young, but it is still there. When they become older it will be something to see for it will burn brightly and eternally. My hands show a life of hard work, but they are hands that have healed, caressed, soothed, delivered life, delivered death, inspired passion and wiped away tears and so many other things, I would not change them for soft,thin fragile skin. Because of all that I have been thru in life, when they move they tell a story, give you a glimpse of knowing there is something more than you see, there is a gracefulness in each turn of the wrist, each movement of the fingers holds a mystical ancient secret, that beckons and lures you to want to know the story, leaving you wanting more.
I may not wear skirts as many do, but I do not fault those that do for it is their choice and it is neither wrong or right, I have a few, now wouldn't that just shock everyone, I will even wear one every now and then, but usually it is for a reason. And those reasons I am not sharing with anyone that is not a mate to me. Some things, are just better not known. There are a few things you will never catch me dead in, one is something frilly or fancy it has no place on the plains, I can see it now the winds and dirt would just rip it to shreds, that is why only dweller women wear them. I like my leathers they are practical for working and riding and getting under things, I can run in them and hunt in them, not to mention, ever notice how well the cling to curves, emphasizing each step taken, and by this age I know how I move, I have been told, there is a natural grace that flows thru a woman who knows herself and is comfortable with herself, add to it the predatory grace of a larl and it is something that can bring various reactions, depending on if used with an intentional provacativeness or just a natural unaware gait. I am very proud of my curves, there is no fat on my body, even though I have had thirteen children one a set of triplets, the reason is easy, I take care of myself in ways few guess. Granted I have scars, seven to be exact each one with a history and story behind it. My hands are marked and my feet, two of my teeth are sharpened and can easily rip human flesh apart, another unique thing that has a story. There are many things about me that make me who I am. But see it isn't how I look that makes me a woman.
It is the spirit, the fire, the life. There is an eternal flame of life that is within me, it is in my eyes if you look close enough, it has a promise of many things. Is is in my touch if you are one lucky enough to feel it in its full capacity. It is the passion that flows and swirls within me. I have been broken more than once in my life , nearly destroyed and near deaths door once, but I always got back up and emerged stronger and more determined. A bit tarnished and dented but I think it just adds to the allure.
There is no one thing that defines a woman, it is everything that makes her beautiful. It is the depth that is limitless and never ending, it is the unconditional gifts of caring and love that a few can give. Not all have this ability, I have only seen a few outside of myself. Because I can say I would and have done anything and everything for love. But then I am like that.
I had to return my thoughts from the discussion that had drifted to me and return to my work. I made my way among the wagons so that I could deliver the amulets and then cast the spells for the ones who sought some guidance, all know I will not create any that are designed to control the will of another or that will harm another, there has only been a couple of exceptions to the rule of no harming. But they were needed and validated. It was odd having sudden silence at my wagons as all the children were gone, doing various things.
Eventually I made my way towards the stream to join those that were gathered after I had finished a few tasks, I listened as I always do. Ayguili and Ongel were speaking of Cana, each had some valid thoughts and concerns, how to guide them on this would be a challenge as I can not tell them what to do, and I also cannot really explain what Cana is going thru,so I guided them in a subtle manner using what each had a concern of, I assured them physically she was fine and I explained to the healer various things I have been doing, and imparted a few tidbits of information that would help him to understand the situation, he seemed to approve of what I had been doing for her. I knew I was but you know sometimes you like to hear it from some one that you are doing something worthwhile . I spoke to Ayguili assuring him not to give up and for all to provide the positive thoughts and love for her. We spoke for a short time on various things regarding her, I think between the healer and myself we managed to give him hope and confidence. I am not sure I truly feel it but part of my role as a Haruspex is to offer guidance and support and give counsel, among many other things. He mentioned that the children were all with him and for a brief moment I felt a brief instant of hurt, was he saying I was not doing a good job, was I inept as a mother, I almost reacted, but I pushed the first reaction down and listened. That is the disadvantage of removing layers you tend to take things a bit faster to heart. After I thought about it, I realized that he was also helping me as Mezoo was, between the three of us her children are well taken care of and in need of nothing, the challenge is in making sure they do not lose sight of their mothers love and that she will return to them.
Ayguili has been going thru a lot the past few hands, a few have ripped him apart on various levels, they put steel in the mantle that he must carry, there are a few I would like to take a whip with razor edge tips dipped in a very strong concoction that burns down to the bone when it cuts into the skin, to teach them a few lessons. He is the Ubar, that is a fact that they need not forget, with that comes a certain degree of respect, now will he be perfect and will he make everyone happy all the time, not bloody likely. He will make a few mistakes, he will do things that none of us will agree with all the time, but the fact is if some took the time to sit and talk to him, not at him and not whining and nit picking at every little thing, they would find, he is fair, he will listen. He has been doing a very good job taking over as Ubar, I stand beside him and support him, that does not mean I agree with all things in fact there are one or two I would love to blister his ears over, because I strongly do not agree, but those are things I would speak of in private , not in public, I will never disrespect any man like that, well with one exception and to this day I will say there was no disrespect and even if there was that is because respect was not earned, respect is not given because you are a man, it is earned. It is a privilege an honor and a gift. Too many are only thinking of themselves and not of the tribe, he makes his choices based on what he thinks is right for the tribe. Now I dare anyone to say that they would be perfect and not make mistakes, and I dare anyone to say they can put the tribe before themselves, because I have been around many Ubars and I can say without a doubt very,very few have been able to. I think I will have to seek him out and sit and talk with him as a friend. Sometimes we all need that.
Eventually everyone left leaving me alone with the healer, and of course a new course of bantering would start as he said that I was afraid to be alone with him, which I countered with he was afraid of me. It was nice to sit and relax and enjoy some conversation, I enjoyed talking with him, he has some interesting thoughts, ones that every now and then would make me think, I like that, I enjoy such. It had substance and depth to it. He has some unique thoughts at least to me they are unique simply because I have not heard men voice them. I like how his mind works I can understand it. That is a rather scary thought. Now in this discussion came the thoughts of my clumsiness, which only added more fuel to the fire and in there was joking about how faint he had made my heart that I just fell into his arms. It is this teasing that has now lead to a bit of a joke between us about my weak heart, I find it funny. Damned if he didn't offer me tea, now I don't like tea, and he wants one of his girls to bring it, I did warn him about that. He seems confidante she will survive me, guess I should have warned him of how I remove eyes and make slave stew. I wonder if he would have believed it. For a bit longer we shared more thoughts on various things, and one thing I said caused a rather interesting reaction, I did not let on I noticed, but I did. And if I were honest, I would have to say I liked the fact he did react unexpectedly.
Eventually the time came that I needed to finish some work before I went to sit with Cana and see how all the children were. He walked me to my wagon and departed with a bit of humor.
Now, what will happen come morning. . . Will there be bloodshed or no?
Only the morning will reveal the answer.
