It was late when I returned to my wagons, actually later than I usually am, I spent a lot of my time preparing things within the clan for various rituals and readings, along with the numerous other things we do. I have been observing some of the younger ones as they go thru their lessons, seeing where the strength is and the weakness and we all have them no matter how far along we progress, it is a natural balance to have such in all things and in all aspects of our lives. I also spent time with some of the elders of the clan, the ones that are older than me by a great deal of envars, perhaps to some they might be called the ancient ones. But to me they were the few I could go to and talk to and learn more from. They hold a wisdom and strength that I could aspire to one day having. And they help me to tap into things that I have yet to learn or even refine what I do know. I always enjoy the time with them.
We spoke of what I have been seeing, there seems to be within the clan similar things happening, earlier in the night when I spoke to Fonce he mentioned he had also felt it. But I really did not get a chance to speak to him further on it. I have the impression something definitely is going to happen and soon, and it is not going to be something that is nice and sweet, it feels like an avenging shadow lowering and igniting the plains, the screams still echo in my head. I think I will speak with the healers, they need to ensure they are prepared for what I cannot tell them because I do not know, it is just a feeling, and my feelings usually prove to rarely be off the mark. While I was with them I asked questions of the past, their past, I needed to find out about the dark one that hovers and lingers. I needed to talk to someone about her and of the plans I have to find her and kill her, I still vacillate between going alone and let the chips fall where they may so to speak, or to gather those I need to help. Though I lean to going alone, I am not one to put anyone knowingly in danger. There is time yet, I do not feel the push to rush although personally I would love to.
Though my thoughts were interrupted as one the old ones hand connected to my head. Damn if that did not hurt, I looked at her as if to say what and she had that knowing look I knew that my thoughts had been revealing. I really need to be more careful. Lately the old ones of the Haruspex clan have been restless, even snapping at each others and don't be near them when they do because you end up being one of their targets. It is enough to make me want to go find a deep hole and hide from people. I have been feeling the pull of emotions around me, the tensions and the worry.It feels as if each person is sucking my energy away even though I have protected and grounded myself, it has broken thru those barriers and this worries me.
As I walked towards my wagons I noticed that it was hot, hotter than usual, even the wind blew hot, it was stifling as if someone had heated it,it felt like steam blowing over the plains, this was not usual. I would sit on my platform, tired however I was too tired to the point I could not just lay down and sleep. I felt sweat glide along my skin. It was going to be a long night.
As I tried to relax for a few ehn before going to my furs I thought back to the night, it was amusing in some ways. Silk made cookies in the shape of asses, at first I was not sure why she had, nor why she gave them to Seveya, I had to listen for a while and watch their antics before it dawned on me, then I understood the reasoning of it,I had to ponder if Ayguili got what was going on. Though it was amusing I also thought that it was something that should be let go of, in my mind it was not something that was really that big of a deal. And I did ask why she only made them in that shape, and well she had made others too, now this was no surprise, I have known Silk a long time, I knew there had to be more, and she handed me a box and I looked inside it, I had to chuckle, I was not about to eat those in public, not that I ate cookies anyway as a rule, but I was considering trying one, just not at that moment.. This caused Fonce to ask why not, so I lifted one out of the box and showed it to him, it was in the shape of a penis. This lead to him asking which end would I start on.
Now being the woman I am, I would of course answer after all I do have experience in such things so I told him that it depends, sometimes the mood might be to start on one end and other times the other, or maybe even both, this amused him. And earned the comment of excellent. I had to chuckle at that because well, I don't like to be predictable, in some things I am but in many one never really knows what I might do or say. Besides what I did not speak out loud , was if I were going to be giving a man the feel of my lips on his body, I sure was going to make sure it was enjoyable if not mind blowing. But I was staying out of that subject, there are some things I just do not say in public and also the thoughts were dangerous because they brought a few images and thoughts to mind, that only added to ones I already had smoldering there. And some nights were long enough already I didn't need to add any more fuel to the fire, in a manner of speaking. Seveya had one of the cookies in her mouth as she closed the box, and Fonce found this rather amusing her lips around an ass, I tossed her one of other cookies to try.
I was glad to see Mezoo and Ayguili go off together,they deserve some time alone as it is not always easy to arrange such, although it can be done it just takes some creative arranging, he deserves to take time for himself, I don't think he has yet learned to balance being Ubar and having a personal life, the two are often intertwined and it is not easy given all the demands. But he has to take time for himself here and there, it is not a matter of wanting to , he needs to in order to continue being a good leader and for the man to still flourish and grow. That is part of the trick, you must take that time for down time, to enjoy being with another. Little did I know that their night was going to end up with her not so happy. I had a feeling he more than likely wasn't either. But I still was of the thought they could work thru this. It would take on each part some compromise, men like to at times get the attitude of this is how it is end of story, or it is because I said so, this is not always correct, it takes two to make relationship work and it takes two to break it. There is much both have yet to learn, which is why I have always felt that before two people mate they take the time to learn a few things, when you rush into it, there is only disaster. That is why I am glad to see a few having to take it slow. To work out those little bumps that rise up on the path. I have always told people everything happens when and as it should, because wether you see it or not there is always a reason. As I watch the younger couples I see them fighting and resisting that need to go slow. But I think in the end they will be glad that they did, for the end result is often worth much more than they could realize. And if it is something that is not a right fit they will one day be thankful for being able to find out.
I listened for a while to many things that were going around me, enjoying the conversations and even adding to them. Ongel joined us for a short while, but something came up that required his immediate attention, that is something that does happen with healers, when they are needed it is usually a right now emergency type of thing whether it is in the day or the middle of the night. I remember having those kinds of nights long ago, so I can understand that sudden I got to go look. I hoped that whatever the emergency that it would go well. I watched him depart for an ihn or two before my attention as drawn back to the others. I had wondered if he recalled anything of the other night, there was a part of me that hoped he did, he did remember the wager and of course as I would expect he has proclaimed he will win, as if I intend to lose although I am not sure he really wants me to paint his wagon if I lose because well you know I can be rather creative with bright colors.
But you know he has forgotten women gain weight easier than men, however there is the minor detail he eats more than I do, and he loves those sweets. Now this is a challenge for me, how to get around that. How do you develop a sweet tooth, and how do I get that appetite to eat all the time, it is known that I often go all day forgetting to sit and eat, nibbling on strips of dried bosk here and there along with some water. I think a lot of it comes from old habits of learning to survive when younger, I have never really shaken off what it takes to do so.
I also found myself wondering if he recalled anything after the wager, if I looked closely at it I would find a part of me hopeful that he did, and that it was something that meant something, and yet I also had the thought that it was just the drink muddling his mind and it was just something amusing to do. I did not see any indication of his remembering it and I would then have to force myself to admit that I was a bit disappointed, I wanted him to remember and I wanted him to think of me,to recall the feel of me as he held me and to have the scent that he inhaled to linger with him. And yet, the vulo part of me was sort of glad maybe he didn't recall, because then I was safe. He was dangerous, I could easily find myself feeling deeper things that I should not because men like him they do not usually look my way, it is usually others that capture their attention so I needed to forget it myself, if I don't it will allow me to get my hopes up. But for moment the possibilities they were rather intriguing and very nice. Though I wont deny something seems to be there.
Eventually everyone went off on their own way leaving Cana and I by the fires, takara had been busy serving and then disappeared elsewhere. It was nice to relax by the fire with Cana, we spoke of a few things and I reassured her that she did nothing that she need to worry of, we had not broken any rules or behaved in a way that would be considered questionable or wrong, I was glad to see her relax. We talked for a while and as always I enjoy my discussions with her.
We were joined by Yamka who was smiling from ear to ear, and now I know what causes that kind of smile as did Cana and we naturally had to ask. I was glad to see her have an enjoyable evening, about that time we saw Mezoo. There was an aura of upset around her that told me that her night had not gone well. I did not see Ayguili with her. And her muttering and throwing of a bowl made it abundantly clear she was upset. I asked her what was wrong and an array of curses and sexual positions escaped her lips, I think she has been around Fonce to long she is picking up some of his colorful expressions when he is less than pleased with something, I actually found it sort of funny coming from her. And I did catch the words stubborn and bosk arse. Yep that would describe most men actually, they all could be asses at times and they all could be stubborn. We talked with her for a little while, but I am not sure if she understood what we were trying to share with her. Relationships are not always easy even in the best there are ups and downs which is why it takes work no matter how long you have been with someone that is what makes them work. It is the small things that each do for each other. And if a man is a leader then there are additional challenges and there are times for many sacrifices and compromise, it is part of sharing your life with another. We spoke of unconditional love and I am not sure why she felt that was submitting to a man, because it isn't. When you can care for another person and accept their flaws and their quirks no matter what. When you can fight and disagree and then make up and know that no matter what that other person is going to be there beside you, and there to reach down and pick you up when you need it and hold you when you need it and let you breathe when you need it. Then you begin to understand what loving another means. You can not love with conditions and strings, it will never grow and flourish.
She left us I think more upset than when she arrived, I think it is something that she will have to work thru, she loves Ayguili and he loves her that is pretty clear. But I think each need to not allow for walls and people to separate them. It is reaching out to each other that will guide them and strengthen them. For now they need to think and breathe and then come together again to talk.
There are times when everyone makes me glad I am not in my twenties and thirties anymore. When it comes to relationships and sharing my life with another, I have a greater appreciation for what is important and what is not. And to me it is what is in a mans heart and spirit that speaks to me.
The rest. It will always work itself out. And sometimes when there is a stubborn obstacle you just have to be more stubborn and walk thru it.
We spoke of what I have been seeing, there seems to be within the clan similar things happening, earlier in the night when I spoke to Fonce he mentioned he had also felt it. But I really did not get a chance to speak to him further on it. I have the impression something definitely is going to happen and soon, and it is not going to be something that is nice and sweet, it feels like an avenging shadow lowering and igniting the plains, the screams still echo in my head. I think I will speak with the healers, they need to ensure they are prepared for what I cannot tell them because I do not know, it is just a feeling, and my feelings usually prove to rarely be off the mark. While I was with them I asked questions of the past, their past, I needed to find out about the dark one that hovers and lingers. I needed to talk to someone about her and of the plans I have to find her and kill her, I still vacillate between going alone and let the chips fall where they may so to speak, or to gather those I need to help. Though I lean to going alone, I am not one to put anyone knowingly in danger. There is time yet, I do not feel the push to rush although personally I would love to.
Though my thoughts were interrupted as one the old ones hand connected to my head. Damn if that did not hurt, I looked at her as if to say what and she had that knowing look I knew that my thoughts had been revealing. I really need to be more careful. Lately the old ones of the Haruspex clan have been restless, even snapping at each others and don't be near them when they do because you end up being one of their targets. It is enough to make me want to go find a deep hole and hide from people. I have been feeling the pull of emotions around me, the tensions and the worry.It feels as if each person is sucking my energy away even though I have protected and grounded myself, it has broken thru those barriers and this worries me.
As I walked towards my wagons I noticed that it was hot, hotter than usual, even the wind blew hot, it was stifling as if someone had heated it,it felt like steam blowing over the plains, this was not usual. I would sit on my platform, tired however I was too tired to the point I could not just lay down and sleep. I felt sweat glide along my skin. It was going to be a long night.
As I tried to relax for a few ehn before going to my furs I thought back to the night, it was amusing in some ways. Silk made cookies in the shape of asses, at first I was not sure why she had, nor why she gave them to Seveya, I had to listen for a while and watch their antics before it dawned on me, then I understood the reasoning of it,I had to ponder if Ayguili got what was going on. Though it was amusing I also thought that it was something that should be let go of, in my mind it was not something that was really that big of a deal. And I did ask why she only made them in that shape, and well she had made others too, now this was no surprise, I have known Silk a long time, I knew there had to be more, and she handed me a box and I looked inside it, I had to chuckle, I was not about to eat those in public, not that I ate cookies anyway as a rule, but I was considering trying one, just not at that moment.. This caused Fonce to ask why not, so I lifted one out of the box and showed it to him, it was in the shape of a penis. This lead to him asking which end would I start on.
Now being the woman I am, I would of course answer after all I do have experience in such things so I told him that it depends, sometimes the mood might be to start on one end and other times the other, or maybe even both, this amused him. And earned the comment of excellent. I had to chuckle at that because well, I don't like to be predictable, in some things I am but in many one never really knows what I might do or say. Besides what I did not speak out loud , was if I were going to be giving a man the feel of my lips on his body, I sure was going to make sure it was enjoyable if not mind blowing. But I was staying out of that subject, there are some things I just do not say in public and also the thoughts were dangerous because they brought a few images and thoughts to mind, that only added to ones I already had smoldering there. And some nights were long enough already I didn't need to add any more fuel to the fire, in a manner of speaking. Seveya had one of the cookies in her mouth as she closed the box, and Fonce found this rather amusing her lips around an ass, I tossed her one of other cookies to try.
I was glad to see Mezoo and Ayguili go off together,they deserve some time alone as it is not always easy to arrange such, although it can be done it just takes some creative arranging, he deserves to take time for himself, I don't think he has yet learned to balance being Ubar and having a personal life, the two are often intertwined and it is not easy given all the demands. But he has to take time for himself here and there, it is not a matter of wanting to , he needs to in order to continue being a good leader and for the man to still flourish and grow. That is part of the trick, you must take that time for down time, to enjoy being with another. Little did I know that their night was going to end up with her not so happy. I had a feeling he more than likely wasn't either. But I still was of the thought they could work thru this. It would take on each part some compromise, men like to at times get the attitude of this is how it is end of story, or it is because I said so, this is not always correct, it takes two to make relationship work and it takes two to break it. There is much both have yet to learn, which is why I have always felt that before two people mate they take the time to learn a few things, when you rush into it, there is only disaster. That is why I am glad to see a few having to take it slow. To work out those little bumps that rise up on the path. I have always told people everything happens when and as it should, because wether you see it or not there is always a reason. As I watch the younger couples I see them fighting and resisting that need to go slow. But I think in the end they will be glad that they did, for the end result is often worth much more than they could realize. And if it is something that is not a right fit they will one day be thankful for being able to find out.
I listened for a while to many things that were going around me, enjoying the conversations and even adding to them. Ongel joined us for a short while, but something came up that required his immediate attention, that is something that does happen with healers, when they are needed it is usually a right now emergency type of thing whether it is in the day or the middle of the night. I remember having those kinds of nights long ago, so I can understand that sudden I got to go look. I hoped that whatever the emergency that it would go well. I watched him depart for an ihn or two before my attention as drawn back to the others. I had wondered if he recalled anything of the other night, there was a part of me that hoped he did, he did remember the wager and of course as I would expect he has proclaimed he will win, as if I intend to lose although I am not sure he really wants me to paint his wagon if I lose because well you know I can be rather creative with bright colors.
But you know he has forgotten women gain weight easier than men, however there is the minor detail he eats more than I do, and he loves those sweets. Now this is a challenge for me, how to get around that. How do you develop a sweet tooth, and how do I get that appetite to eat all the time, it is known that I often go all day forgetting to sit and eat, nibbling on strips of dried bosk here and there along with some water. I think a lot of it comes from old habits of learning to survive when younger, I have never really shaken off what it takes to do so.
I also found myself wondering if he recalled anything after the wager, if I looked closely at it I would find a part of me hopeful that he did, and that it was something that meant something, and yet I also had the thought that it was just the drink muddling his mind and it was just something amusing to do. I did not see any indication of his remembering it and I would then have to force myself to admit that I was a bit disappointed, I wanted him to remember and I wanted him to think of me,to recall the feel of me as he held me and to have the scent that he inhaled to linger with him. And yet, the vulo part of me was sort of glad maybe he didn't recall, because then I was safe. He was dangerous, I could easily find myself feeling deeper things that I should not because men like him they do not usually look my way, it is usually others that capture their attention so I needed to forget it myself, if I don't it will allow me to get my hopes up. But for moment the possibilities they were rather intriguing and very nice. Though I wont deny something seems to be there.
Eventually everyone went off on their own way leaving Cana and I by the fires, takara had been busy serving and then disappeared elsewhere. It was nice to relax by the fire with Cana, we spoke of a few things and I reassured her that she did nothing that she need to worry of, we had not broken any rules or behaved in a way that would be considered questionable or wrong, I was glad to see her relax. We talked for a while and as always I enjoy my discussions with her.
We were joined by Yamka who was smiling from ear to ear, and now I know what causes that kind of smile as did Cana and we naturally had to ask. I was glad to see her have an enjoyable evening, about that time we saw Mezoo. There was an aura of upset around her that told me that her night had not gone well. I did not see Ayguili with her. And her muttering and throwing of a bowl made it abundantly clear she was upset. I asked her what was wrong and an array of curses and sexual positions escaped her lips, I think she has been around Fonce to long she is picking up some of his colorful expressions when he is less than pleased with something, I actually found it sort of funny coming from her. And I did catch the words stubborn and bosk arse. Yep that would describe most men actually, they all could be asses at times and they all could be stubborn. We talked with her for a little while, but I am not sure if she understood what we were trying to share with her. Relationships are not always easy even in the best there are ups and downs which is why it takes work no matter how long you have been with someone that is what makes them work. It is the small things that each do for each other. And if a man is a leader then there are additional challenges and there are times for many sacrifices and compromise, it is part of sharing your life with another. We spoke of unconditional love and I am not sure why she felt that was submitting to a man, because it isn't. When you can care for another person and accept their flaws and their quirks no matter what. When you can fight and disagree and then make up and know that no matter what that other person is going to be there beside you, and there to reach down and pick you up when you need it and hold you when you need it and let you breathe when you need it. Then you begin to understand what loving another means. You can not love with conditions and strings, it will never grow and flourish.
She left us I think more upset than when she arrived, I think it is something that she will have to work thru, she loves Ayguili and he loves her that is pretty clear. But I think each need to not allow for walls and people to separate them. It is reaching out to each other that will guide them and strengthen them. For now they need to think and breathe and then come together again to talk.
There are times when everyone makes me glad I am not in my twenties and thirties anymore. When it comes to relationships and sharing my life with another, I have a greater appreciation for what is important and what is not. And to me it is what is in a mans heart and spirit that speaks to me.
The rest. It will always work itself out. And sometimes when there is a stubborn obstacle you just have to be more stubborn and walk thru it.
