As work kept me busy within the clan and within my own wagons, I did not realize the passing of days until I paused for an ehn to look for something. As was often the case when you have children, things disappear, and the older the get the more things disappear. And they often take the things that you really need and will always have a good story to justify it.
I had gone in search of them to see which young one would have the audacity to borrow something without at least telling me, in my search I neared the main fires. I paused for a moment and retrieved some black wine and stopped to speak with Fonce as he was sitting at one of the wagons. I asked to sit with him, I know I saw surprise, why I am not sure, I assured him I would not bite. Well at least not hard the first time.
Good thing he doesn't really know about those sharpened teeth I have, or such a statement would give him pause.
I spoke with him for a few ehn when Cana joined us, I was glad to see her for I worry about her. I listened and added various thoughts to the small talk that filled the air, it was nice to be with them and enjoy the company.
I am not sure when the direction of the talk changed to Asria and some of her inability to do certain things. I listened to some of the questions that went back and forth between the two before I would actually had a few of my own thoughts.
I confess, I do not understand how it is that a tuchuk woman does not know how to do the basic things we need to know to survive life. I suppose that would always bring forth the thought in how I do not understand how Trayu or her parents allowed such or even encouraged it. It is my thought he has done her a great disservice. That does not mean I think less of her or feel she is less. Only that I myself lack the understanding of it, simply because I cannot fathom not knowing how to ride, hunt, prepare hides, dress a kill, make arrows or grease the axles of my wagons and so much more. Perhaps that makes me to independent. I am not really sure in truth. But I know it does not make me less of a woman, and it does not make me less in my feminity. Although this is my thought, I couldn't and wouldn't speak for others.
At one point as Fonce spoke of this I had to ask, simply because of how he made it sound. And I had to ask, because it sort of floored me. Did it make a woman less attractive to a man because she was independent. Did a man want a woman that needed to be taken care of in every aspect?
I am not sure he understood at first because he thought Cana and I were being defensive. Actually far from it.
The questions asked were to understand his thinking on this matter, I wanted to understand his thinking on this and why he thought it and from Cana's words I would surmise she also did, now the thought occurred to me, did men really find this attractive as he seemed to imply, now I knew he was not necessarily speaking for himself he was merely giving his thoughts on this. I was relieved to hear that being independent versus dependent did not make you less of a woman or unattractive. However, a man likes to know he is needed, well now that I already knew. This I understood.
No matter how independent I am, any time I was mated, they each knew my limitations, and they each knew that I appreciated things they did and that I needed them. Now that I am no longer mated I do my best to not let on the things I might need help with, I refuse to be a burden to anyone, I would sooner fall and break my damn fool neck than be extra work. I do not like to be helpless, so I push myself harder and farther than anyone knows, that is why so much time is needed away from people because the work I try to do, lets face it was the responsibility of my mate and he is gone, so now if falls on me. I have no choice.
But yet Fonce seemed to think our thoughts meant that we wanted Asria to change or conform, that was not exactly what we were saying, only that she needs to learn things to grow and strengthen herself as a woman and as a person. To stand on her own two feet. That did not mean that in doing these things it was meant to change her.
I am not truly sure if there was an understanding met. But, we explained that there are basic things she should know as a tuchuk woman, it is simply a given. We are plains women, we are not dwellers that are delicate and without abilities. Does that mean it should or would change her, not really, now could it, of course it could and might. But as we grow and strengthen we all change. What would happen if we remained unchanging, unchallenged and did not grow.
I am not sure he really understood, but I can hope. I wouldn't want to change anyone, because if we did, then they would no longer be who they are.
I had gone in search of them to see which young one would have the audacity to borrow something without at least telling me, in my search I neared the main fires. I paused for a moment and retrieved some black wine and stopped to speak with Fonce as he was sitting at one of the wagons. I asked to sit with him, I know I saw surprise, why I am not sure, I assured him I would not bite. Well at least not hard the first time.
Good thing he doesn't really know about those sharpened teeth I have, or such a statement would give him pause.
I spoke with him for a few ehn when Cana joined us, I was glad to see her for I worry about her. I listened and added various thoughts to the small talk that filled the air, it was nice to be with them and enjoy the company.
I am not sure when the direction of the talk changed to Asria and some of her inability to do certain things. I listened to some of the questions that went back and forth between the two before I would actually had a few of my own thoughts.
I confess, I do not understand how it is that a tuchuk woman does not know how to do the basic things we need to know to survive life. I suppose that would always bring forth the thought in how I do not understand how Trayu or her parents allowed such or even encouraged it. It is my thought he has done her a great disservice. That does not mean I think less of her or feel she is less. Only that I myself lack the understanding of it, simply because I cannot fathom not knowing how to ride, hunt, prepare hides, dress a kill, make arrows or grease the axles of my wagons and so much more. Perhaps that makes me to independent. I am not really sure in truth. But I know it does not make me less of a woman, and it does not make me less in my feminity. Although this is my thought, I couldn't and wouldn't speak for others.
At one point as Fonce spoke of this I had to ask, simply because of how he made it sound. And I had to ask, because it sort of floored me. Did it make a woman less attractive to a man because she was independent. Did a man want a woman that needed to be taken care of in every aspect?
I am not sure he understood at first because he thought Cana and I were being defensive. Actually far from it.
The questions asked were to understand his thinking on this matter, I wanted to understand his thinking on this and why he thought it and from Cana's words I would surmise she also did, now the thought occurred to me, did men really find this attractive as he seemed to imply, now I knew he was not necessarily speaking for himself he was merely giving his thoughts on this. I was relieved to hear that being independent versus dependent did not make you less of a woman or unattractive. However, a man likes to know he is needed, well now that I already knew. This I understood.
No matter how independent I am, any time I was mated, they each knew my limitations, and they each knew that I appreciated things they did and that I needed them. Now that I am no longer mated I do my best to not let on the things I might need help with, I refuse to be a burden to anyone, I would sooner fall and break my damn fool neck than be extra work. I do not like to be helpless, so I push myself harder and farther than anyone knows, that is why so much time is needed away from people because the work I try to do, lets face it was the responsibility of my mate and he is gone, so now if falls on me. I have no choice.
But yet Fonce seemed to think our thoughts meant that we wanted Asria to change or conform, that was not exactly what we were saying, only that she needs to learn things to grow and strengthen herself as a woman and as a person. To stand on her own two feet. That did not mean that in doing these things it was meant to change her.
I am not truly sure if there was an understanding met. But, we explained that there are basic things she should know as a tuchuk woman, it is simply a given. We are plains women, we are not dwellers that are delicate and without abilities. Does that mean it should or would change her, not really, now could it, of course it could and might. But as we grow and strengthen we all change. What would happen if we remained unchanging, unchallenged and did not grow.
I am not sure he really understood, but I can hope. I wouldn't want to change anyone, because if we did, then they would no longer be who they are.
