It felt as if I had been lost in the haze of darkness and the veil of obscurity for a few turnings instead of a few days. Voices would penetrate the invisible walls shouting, ranting, raving and each one salivated with deep base negative emotions. Most times I can separate but I felt myself being drawn in, pulled in and held captive within the energy, it drained me, it sucked the life out of me and it confused my mind and seemed to devour every part of me. It was like watching someone slice me open and my blood would pool and coagulate around me as if taunting me that it was now free. A strange sensation.
Somewhere in there I heard a familiar voice, it held the tone of one searching, slowly it reached in and grabbed me. Calling to me, beckoning me to hear, to fight free of the liquid evil that was spreading and enveloping me, though I could not respond, I was not in control. Then the familiar string of curses and an infuriated energy burst thru like a jolt of lightening, commanding and authoritative. Something stirred.
Slowly I felt myself being released and I slowly returned to myself and opened my eyes, the grasses were flowing around me and when I looked I noticed the blood on my hands and I felt my breath rush inward in a sudden gasp. And then it was gone. I had to shake my head for a moment. Eventually I made my way to my wagons there I hibernated, resting and thinking of many things. I felt that unease and edge return, the restlessness that often came before something wrong was going to happen or something bad to myself or another.
I walked to the stream and sat there for a while, a short while later Sahli joined me. He spoke of the last time we spoke, he thought it was why I had not been at the main fires, I assured him it was not. Then he spoke of when he went to the caves with Jaella and Fonce, I was honest in my words to him I knew very little of what occurred, that was a venture that only a small circle of people were involved in. So I could not speak of knowledge I did not have only a few whispers in the wind that he had been at some cave somewhere, I myself stay out of caves, I do not like them. They suffocate and confine me to much, they lack life. And what life resides in them I do not really want to touch.
As we spoke his voice and manner changed,I thought at first he was channeling a spirit, but given he is not a Haruspex I had to rethink this and the behavior was not that of one channeling, I have practiced that skill many times so I knew what was involved, this was more like a possession of some sort, but the who and why I did not know. This spirit was dominant and overpowered him, he spoke of a promise.
-"Who I am does not mater, Haruspex. Only that I will be here until he,Fonce, and Jaella fulfill the promise he made to me. "
Then just as suddenly the entity was gone and Sahli Lu was back, he spoke of this being why he kept his distance. And why what was said to me at the fires was said. My intentions were to help him and guide him in advising him to take control of the other, but he got defensive and told me Fonce told him the same thing.
His next words though, they were like a hundred quiva tossed into my heart, " Ever wonder why our tribe is so seperated Tarra?"
He spoke of things that I have been feeling but it was painful to hear another say it, but it was what he added next that was like the final cut, and maybe it was, it was confirmation of what I have already felt, I did not think I could fall deeper into a feeling of despair and loss, but I was wrong.
"No I do not think you know what you are talking about when it comes to me. I think you know quite well what it is you talk about when it comes to you. I am not you. I am not a haruspex I did not invite this...nor can I simply control it. Nor has anyone tried to help me to do so. I am just told control them, If I could would not be assumed that I would?"
Somewhere in there I heard a familiar voice, it held the tone of one searching, slowly it reached in and grabbed me. Calling to me, beckoning me to hear, to fight free of the liquid evil that was spreading and enveloping me, though I could not respond, I was not in control. Then the familiar string of curses and an infuriated energy burst thru like a jolt of lightening, commanding and authoritative. Something stirred.
Slowly I felt myself being released and I slowly returned to myself and opened my eyes, the grasses were flowing around me and when I looked I noticed the blood on my hands and I felt my breath rush inward in a sudden gasp. And then it was gone. I had to shake my head for a moment. Eventually I made my way to my wagons there I hibernated, resting and thinking of many things. I felt that unease and edge return, the restlessness that often came before something wrong was going to happen or something bad to myself or another.
I walked to the stream and sat there for a while, a short while later Sahli joined me. He spoke of the last time we spoke, he thought it was why I had not been at the main fires, I assured him it was not. Then he spoke of when he went to the caves with Jaella and Fonce, I was honest in my words to him I knew very little of what occurred, that was a venture that only a small circle of people were involved in. So I could not speak of knowledge I did not have only a few whispers in the wind that he had been at some cave somewhere, I myself stay out of caves, I do not like them. They suffocate and confine me to much, they lack life. And what life resides in them I do not really want to touch.
As we spoke his voice and manner changed,I thought at first he was channeling a spirit, but given he is not a Haruspex I had to rethink this and the behavior was not that of one channeling, I have practiced that skill many times so I knew what was involved, this was more like a possession of some sort, but the who and why I did not know. This spirit was dominant and overpowered him, he spoke of a promise.
-"Who I am does not mater, Haruspex. Only that I will be here until he,Fonce, and Jaella fulfill the promise he made to me. "
Then just as suddenly the entity was gone and Sahli Lu was back, he spoke of this being why he kept his distance. And why what was said to me at the fires was said. My intentions were to help him and guide him in advising him to take control of the other, but he got defensive and told me Fonce told him the same thing.
His next words though, they were like a hundred quiva tossed into my heart, " Ever wonder why our tribe is so seperated Tarra?"
He spoke of things that I have been feeling but it was painful to hear another say it, but it was what he added next that was like the final cut, and maybe it was, it was confirmation of what I have already felt, I did not think I could fall deeper into a feeling of despair and loss, but I was wrong.
"No I do not think you know what you are talking about when it comes to me. I think you know quite well what it is you talk about when it comes to you. I am not you. I am not a haruspex I did not invite this...nor can I simply control it. Nor has anyone tried to help me to do so. I am just told control them, If I could would not be assumed that I would?"
He is right, what do I know of anyone, so if I lack the confidence of one of youth to be able to help then I can not inspire such in others, lately it has been shown to be true, He was just the confirmation. His parting words of he hoped I found what I was looking for. Yet another sign that has been placed before me.
He is right. I do not understand.
The time has indeed come for me to lie down and relinquish everything I know and have. I returned to my wagon, the white bosk was sent to Fonce, I had lily deliver a message that it was my gift to him the one born the night my youngest son was born not only to the tribe but to the clan. My wagons I moved each one until the circle was undone. Then I began to work on my wagons to ensure they were in repair, a few supplies I had I would send to various people, Mezoo I know wanted some of the supplies from the one so I went thru it first to separate things.
It was then I found the old chest that had been my fathers. It was the one Dina and I had found many turnings ago. It seemed to beckon me to open it. But, I did not want to I really had enough of fate and destiny today.
Instead I turned and whistled for Eclipse and went for a ride. I needed air. Today's encounter left me drained, empty and bleeding. I needed something, but I did not know what. I needed to turn to someone but did not know who.
Hell, I had no idea what I needed or wanted now. I could only see pieces of the plains falling from the woven tapestry the strings raveling, the web tattered and the life blood oozing from it, no matter where I looked I felt, saw and tasted this. It had a sweet coppery taste reminding me of blood.
He is right. I do not understand.
The time has indeed come for me to lie down and relinquish everything I know and have. I returned to my wagon, the white bosk was sent to Fonce, I had lily deliver a message that it was my gift to him the one born the night my youngest son was born not only to the tribe but to the clan. My wagons I moved each one until the circle was undone. Then I began to work on my wagons to ensure they were in repair, a few supplies I had I would send to various people, Mezoo I know wanted some of the supplies from the one so I went thru it first to separate things.
It was then I found the old chest that had been my fathers. It was the one Dina and I had found many turnings ago. It seemed to beckon me to open it. But, I did not want to I really had enough of fate and destiny today.
Instead I turned and whistled for Eclipse and went for a ride. I needed air. Today's encounter left me drained, empty and bleeding. I needed something, but I did not know what. I needed to turn to someone but did not know who.
Hell, I had no idea what I needed or wanted now. I could only see pieces of the plains falling from the woven tapestry the strings raveling, the web tattered and the life blood oozing from it, no matter where I looked I felt, saw and tasted this. It had a sweet coppery taste reminding me of blood.
