I had returned to the main camp and then to my wagons, I had changed into something dry,afterwards I found some black wine and I sat by the fire I had burning there, sage and herbs wafted into the air as I kept the fires fed, it was something I have done since I can remember. I had not yet moved them back into the usual circle. I was still contemplating it, though my plans seem to be delayed a bit by a few things.
As if often the way the powers that be tend to interfere with a perfectly laid out good plan.
So, here I sit with my bowl of black wine feeling the warmth of the bowl flow thru the flesh, I study the dark brew within its confines, various images filter thru the dark liquid. One was of Cana and what she was going thru, I knew what she had been, I have protected her children as I promised I would. I know it will give her peace of mind and she needs that. I had stopped to check on her and as much as I wanted to rush in to reach in and help her I stopped, I felt something gently tug at my mind, I knew to listen.
I moved to sit by her side she was unmoving, I could see the worry of others, I gently touched her forehead and held her hand, somewhere I knew that she knew I was there, I would sit with her for ahns at a time, but I did not reach in and pull her out. There were a few reasons, the mother in me wanted to rush in like a raging, bosk bull and pull her back. The Haruspex in me wanted to blast everything away from her and free her to return. But I did none of these things. I did purify the wagon with some sage, and I placed various things in her wagon, I knew that Fonce would understand what I did, it was just enough to be there for them both, but not enough to interfere. While I may be an Elder and I may even be able to do things he has yet to learn, there is that part of me, perhaps it is as an Elder of the clan, a friend or maybe even the mother in me wanted to see him step into himself and do what I knew turnings ago he could do even if he does not yet know it himself, this is why I am not doing anything. I heard the voice him my head speak softly . I have faith in him and I know that the daughter of my heart is safe in his hands. I trust in him and the clan to know what is right.
That does not mean I am not chomping at the bit to do something, because of course I am, I was never good at idle, that is why I find things to do, it keeps me from people, as I know the surface of me is still raw, bleeding and very sensitivities. When I am in that phase of emergence I know that I can snap with jaws of steel, and cut with razor sharp blades in a heartbeat, without thought or control. The answer is to keep myself to myself. That takes some getting used to because I am having to learn how to do things alone again. Even after all this time, I just can't get used to it, a part of me hopes the visions and things I have seen are not just flights of fancy. I have to hold on to hope that there is more in life waiting for me. Though the warriors face is always shadowed I can never see him clear, I really hate that, why not just show me who he is so that I know, but that would be to easy, they give just enough hints. Strange though how does he know my name, he did not use the name most call me and know me by, and why in combination with that darker part of me, what does it mean.
I could sit and guess all night but I wont I have decisions to make, the dark one is out there, the one who hovers and plays a game of urt and larl, coming and going, I am aware, yet I let her think I am not, I am learning more of this one that has a power that is greater than three of our most powerful together. I already know to seek her out alone is a death wish. But I have never feared death I have nearly embraced it twice in my life. But maybe now isn't the time, and my brother seems to be deep within something, in a place I cannot reach him.
I needed to work on one of my wagons and I sat down the bowl of black wine and moved to begin some of the minor repairs I could do, I would climb up as far as I could and reach across to remove some of the winding plants that I have growing around it, I am not sure what exactly happened, I heard Cana's voice in my head and intensity and shock of it was enough that I lost my balance, not that it would take much, I was sort of doing more than I should but it did need done. I heard the sound of things falling, ripping and breaking and the next thing I knew the ground was meeting my backside with a very hard thud, there was a pain in my arm and I lay there for a moment. Ignoring what I felt and focusing on the energy I felt, she needed me to take care of her children, that was a given in my mind, but I would ensure she knew that I would. After a few moments that strange,disorienting sensation evaporated and I slowly sat up, I could move my arm, my fingers, it hurt like hell,but I knew nothing was broken, reaching back I felt the warmth of my blood, okay, I cut myself, wonderful. It was in one of those hard to reach spots that I couldn't fix myself, go figure. One of the few times I would have to seek out a healer. Great.
I felt the wood and I removed it and went to clean the arm off as best as I could, now don't I wish I were just a bit more flexible than I am. Right now I felt like a contortionist. I bandaged it and then went to finish doing what I needed to do. Slowly I moved my wagons back in the circle, muttering a bit under my breath, "Fine, I get it already, I am listening, and for the record you are not funny."
I swear I thought I heard laughter in the winds, for now I would stay put. But I did not venture to the fires, I would spend time at my wagons working and at the clan fires, and then I would take turns sitting with Cana until Fonce was able to do what he needed to, everything happened as it should and when it should. At least, that is what I am telling myself.
A few days later I made my way towards the main fires,I sat as I watched and listened, Ash requested that Ayguili allow him to claim Silk, now while not really surprised, I actually was that he went about it that fast, but, you have to give the man credit to know what he wants and takes it. There were various reactions about the fire, but I have to say that for the first time in a long time she looked relaxed and happy, perhaps even at peace. Love will grow in time, the seeds are already planted.
Still I went about my days working and taking care of things, helping with Cana and also taking care of her children, I have them staying with me at my wagons until she awakens, my arm though I noticed was more painful, as I ran my finger over it I could feel it was hot, not a good sign, I knew that it was infected, something was stuck in it causing the body to react and fight it, great, just what I needed. Definitely needed to find one of those sadistic healers.
As if often the way the powers that be tend to interfere with a perfectly laid out good plan.
So, here I sit with my bowl of black wine feeling the warmth of the bowl flow thru the flesh, I study the dark brew within its confines, various images filter thru the dark liquid. One was of Cana and what she was going thru, I knew what she had been, I have protected her children as I promised I would. I know it will give her peace of mind and she needs that. I had stopped to check on her and as much as I wanted to rush in to reach in and help her I stopped, I felt something gently tug at my mind, I knew to listen.
I moved to sit by her side she was unmoving, I could see the worry of others, I gently touched her forehead and held her hand, somewhere I knew that she knew I was there, I would sit with her for ahns at a time, but I did not reach in and pull her out. There were a few reasons, the mother in me wanted to rush in like a raging, bosk bull and pull her back. The Haruspex in me wanted to blast everything away from her and free her to return. But I did none of these things. I did purify the wagon with some sage, and I placed various things in her wagon, I knew that Fonce would understand what I did, it was just enough to be there for them both, but not enough to interfere. While I may be an Elder and I may even be able to do things he has yet to learn, there is that part of me, perhaps it is as an Elder of the clan, a friend or maybe even the mother in me wanted to see him step into himself and do what I knew turnings ago he could do even if he does not yet know it himself, this is why I am not doing anything. I heard the voice him my head speak softly . I have faith in him and I know that the daughter of my heart is safe in his hands. I trust in him and the clan to know what is right.
That does not mean I am not chomping at the bit to do something, because of course I am, I was never good at idle, that is why I find things to do, it keeps me from people, as I know the surface of me is still raw, bleeding and very sensitivities. When I am in that phase of emergence I know that I can snap with jaws of steel, and cut with razor sharp blades in a heartbeat, without thought or control. The answer is to keep myself to myself. That takes some getting used to because I am having to learn how to do things alone again. Even after all this time, I just can't get used to it, a part of me hopes the visions and things I have seen are not just flights of fancy. I have to hold on to hope that there is more in life waiting for me. Though the warriors face is always shadowed I can never see him clear, I really hate that, why not just show me who he is so that I know, but that would be to easy, they give just enough hints. Strange though how does he know my name, he did not use the name most call me and know me by, and why in combination with that darker part of me, what does it mean.
I could sit and guess all night but I wont I have decisions to make, the dark one is out there, the one who hovers and plays a game of urt and larl, coming and going, I am aware, yet I let her think I am not, I am learning more of this one that has a power that is greater than three of our most powerful together. I already know to seek her out alone is a death wish. But I have never feared death I have nearly embraced it twice in my life. But maybe now isn't the time, and my brother seems to be deep within something, in a place I cannot reach him.
I needed to work on one of my wagons and I sat down the bowl of black wine and moved to begin some of the minor repairs I could do, I would climb up as far as I could and reach across to remove some of the winding plants that I have growing around it, I am not sure what exactly happened, I heard Cana's voice in my head and intensity and shock of it was enough that I lost my balance, not that it would take much, I was sort of doing more than I should but it did need done. I heard the sound of things falling, ripping and breaking and the next thing I knew the ground was meeting my backside with a very hard thud, there was a pain in my arm and I lay there for a moment. Ignoring what I felt and focusing on the energy I felt, she needed me to take care of her children, that was a given in my mind, but I would ensure she knew that I would. After a few moments that strange,disorienting sensation evaporated and I slowly sat up, I could move my arm, my fingers, it hurt like hell,but I knew nothing was broken, reaching back I felt the warmth of my blood, okay, I cut myself, wonderful. It was in one of those hard to reach spots that I couldn't fix myself, go figure. One of the few times I would have to seek out a healer. Great.
I felt the wood and I removed it and went to clean the arm off as best as I could, now don't I wish I were just a bit more flexible than I am. Right now I felt like a contortionist. I bandaged it and then went to finish doing what I needed to do. Slowly I moved my wagons back in the circle, muttering a bit under my breath, "Fine, I get it already, I am listening, and for the record you are not funny."
I swear I thought I heard laughter in the winds, for now I would stay put. But I did not venture to the fires, I would spend time at my wagons working and at the clan fires, and then I would take turns sitting with Cana until Fonce was able to do what he needed to, everything happened as it should and when it should. At least, that is what I am telling myself.
A few days later I made my way towards the main fires,I sat as I watched and listened, Ash requested that Ayguili allow him to claim Silk, now while not really surprised, I actually was that he went about it that fast, but, you have to give the man credit to know what he wants and takes it. There were various reactions about the fire, but I have to say that for the first time in a long time she looked relaxed and happy, perhaps even at peace. Love will grow in time, the seeds are already planted.
Still I went about my days working and taking care of things, helping with Cana and also taking care of her children, I have them staying with me at my wagons until she awakens, my arm though I noticed was more painful, as I ran my finger over it I could feel it was hot, not a good sign, I knew that it was infected, something was stuck in it causing the body to react and fight it, great, just what I needed. Definitely needed to find one of those sadistic healers.
