The winds glide and wind thru and around the grasses, releasing and lifting their unique fragrance to the skies. I stand here at the edge of the camp. I wish I could say I felt something, anything, such as anger,sadness,happiness, or something tangible, but in truth I feel nothing, just a hollow sensation that is empty . For hands I have been watching and listening. Hopes of some things came crashing down with a ferocity that reminded me not to raise them again. I have listened until it felt as if my ears were bleeding and my brain cells removed with a cauterizing iron.
I have stepped back from people so that I could see clear and not be caught in any of the personal drama or the bigger dramas that only bring people down.
I think I have seen and heard more than I desired. The path once more has been paved for a third time with the manipulations and deceit of people. I do not feel trust or feel it in the air, it is as if something has reached in and scoopped it into large talons and left only gouges in the ground that fill with blood and bile from those seeking their own wants and needs. I see a decline that I had hoped not to see.
The tapestry is unwoven the web is tattered.
All that is right is gone, all that should be has been erased. It is not a world I wish to remain in. I cannot embrace it.
I lay down the needle needed to sew it and bury it deep in the ground where none can find it. I burn the hope in the fires of the night and let it swirl towards the sky as if it had never been. I step off the path that is broken,shattered and frayed to walk in the darkness of what is unknown, I walk away from all that there is and all that will never be.
My heart is removed and drowned in the deepest part of the stream. My spirit has been cut out and cast to the four cardinal directions of the plains. This leaves only a hollow shell that draws breath. It frees me from emotions and thought. Because I cease to be.
Each day I begin to remove things from my wagons, giving to those who may have need. My bosk I will be separated and given to my father, the white one I will give to Fonce for it was the one he saw when my youngest son was born. The omen should not be removed, it did after all save my life during the time he disappeared and I searched for him. I have decided to go and fight the one who took my mate the one who casts much over the plains in the form of chaos, darkness and negativity. Perhaps she has touched me finally and now I lower down into that dark abyss, letting it coat me and cover me with a thickness that you cannot breathe from.
I know that my children are cared for,my father and Chay will keep watch as will Cana over Hallie, the youngest son will stay within Chuluns care. Ulric I know will protect them and guide them as he did me. I do not know if I will return from this journey and a part of me does not want to. To die fighting is not breaking my promise. Perhaps I will find my mate and join him as it should be as has been my desire the past turning.
I thought people were worth fighting for but they have proven me wrong, I thought the truth would guide and strengthen that web but it did the opposite. I had faith where I should not have placed it, belief when I should have been more of a realist. But sometimes that is the beauty of people they always show you the right and wrong of life.
There is nothing here for me. There has not been for a very long time.
The arrows with the spider venom has been prepared carefully and sacredly. The blades are sharp and Eclipse he is the dark side of me, he will serve me well for this journey.
I think I will find Lukus and see him before I take this journey. I can find him thru the realms beyond what is seen and heard. He will take that which is sacred and keep it in safe keeping.
I have stepped back from people so that I could see clear and not be caught in any of the personal drama or the bigger dramas that only bring people down.
I think I have seen and heard more than I desired. The path once more has been paved for a third time with the manipulations and deceit of people. I do not feel trust or feel it in the air, it is as if something has reached in and scoopped it into large talons and left only gouges in the ground that fill with blood and bile from those seeking their own wants and needs. I see a decline that I had hoped not to see.
The tapestry is unwoven the web is tattered.
All that is right is gone, all that should be has been erased. It is not a world I wish to remain in. I cannot embrace it.
I lay down the needle needed to sew it and bury it deep in the ground where none can find it. I burn the hope in the fires of the night and let it swirl towards the sky as if it had never been. I step off the path that is broken,shattered and frayed to walk in the darkness of what is unknown, I walk away from all that there is and all that will never be.
My heart is removed and drowned in the deepest part of the stream. My spirit has been cut out and cast to the four cardinal directions of the plains. This leaves only a hollow shell that draws breath. It frees me from emotions and thought. Because I cease to be.
Each day I begin to remove things from my wagons, giving to those who may have need. My bosk I will be separated and given to my father, the white one I will give to Fonce for it was the one he saw when my youngest son was born. The omen should not be removed, it did after all save my life during the time he disappeared and I searched for him. I have decided to go and fight the one who took my mate the one who casts much over the plains in the form of chaos, darkness and negativity. Perhaps she has touched me finally and now I lower down into that dark abyss, letting it coat me and cover me with a thickness that you cannot breathe from.
I know that my children are cared for,my father and Chay will keep watch as will Cana over Hallie, the youngest son will stay within Chuluns care. Ulric I know will protect them and guide them as he did me. I do not know if I will return from this journey and a part of me does not want to. To die fighting is not breaking my promise. Perhaps I will find my mate and join him as it should be as has been my desire the past turning.
I thought people were worth fighting for but they have proven me wrong, I thought the truth would guide and strengthen that web but it did the opposite. I had faith where I should not have placed it, belief when I should have been more of a realist. But sometimes that is the beauty of people they always show you the right and wrong of life.
There is nothing here for me. There has not been for a very long time.
The arrows with the spider venom has been prepared carefully and sacredly. The blades are sharp and Eclipse he is the dark side of me, he will serve me well for this journey.
I think I will find Lukus and see him before I take this journey. I can find him thru the realms beyond what is seen and heard. He will take that which is sacred and keep it in safe keeping.
