The days seemed to be longer and slower with each step I had taken, thru the whisper of the grasses I would listen, within the eye of the sky I would watch, and with each breath I drew my heart beat one with the plains, a soft low chant would drift over the invisible wings of the land. But yet, I did not find anything or anyone.
Really, did I expect to.
Foolishly, yes a part of me did.
As I sit within the circle reciting the names of those we call upon only in times of need and ritual, spoken in an old Tuchuk language that very few even now remember exists, it is done with purpose for some things can not be spoken of lightly. I felt as if every cell within me hummed and vibrated, that an intense fire had been lit and I was caught in the middle and yet at the same time I felt ice cold as if the Thassa itself washed over me, the howling within me felt as if the winds of the plains had gathered and taken root within me. So deep had I gone into the place that we as a spex go on rare occasions, that I had forgotten how much it took and how it felt, those of us that are of all the elements are able to harness them and utilize what is associated with them, but, at a price.
Skies, I was going to regret this in a major painful kind of way.
I kept pushing myself, incorporating an ancient jungle ritual in with the clan one, the results were spectacular as for a moment the brilliance of the energy was almost blinding, I almost lost my focus from my amazement, after all these turnings, this astounded me, and it is not easy to leave me speechless. Thank the skies for all those en'vars of training and discipline for even with that, I found myself almost losing control and losing myself, to do so meant I would be lost in every way, and I did not feel that the sky was calling my name yet.
With that iron will determination or as some would say my stubbornness, I gathered every resource I had and knew and focused. At first I did not want to look, I did not want to go back to that day, even now it is like a knife deep in my heart turning and slashing, ripping me apart and letting me bleed, I could not do this without emotion as is most times needed, this was to personal, to deep and to painful I almost stopped but something would not let me, I watched that day play out, I felt the heat of my tears along my cheek as I watched every detail. Then a few small things caught my attention, never noticed by me or anyone else. This gave me some pause and thought, could it truly be it was not Garyx, but he had an uncanny resemblance, but even so, it is hard to tell given the extent of injuries rendered to him, but there was enough to make me question it.
Without warning the moment was gone, instead once more I was shrouded in darkness, only this time I could hear and feel some one, It was Garyx, but he was in pain, the kind of pain that I have never felt and while I could not see, I felt everything he did, and it was beyond what I could handle, for the first time since I was a young girl, I was overwhelmed and the shock of it sent a jolt thru me that seemed to rob me of my very breath, I did not realize that I had screamed out a few times, although I can handle many things, I am not a man, and what he endured was to much for any man to feel, but for me it was almost crippling I swear I could feel my skin rip and bleed, my bones snap and hiss. From a distance I could hear Ulric, the concern and fear in his voice I heard but I could not respond to him. Before I was allowed to be free of this vision, for a brief ehn, I saw Garyx,he was traveling in various places, he seemed to be searching for something, he did not seem himself, but as he reached the plains, something was changing in him a glimpse of his true self was once more rising upward with in him. Knowledge lost was returning, I could see life returning to his eyes, and in an instant it was as if he saw me, and I saw that brilliant, vibrant intensity reach out to me. I reached out to him and then all went black.
It would be many ahns later before I would open my eyes, Ulric had covered me in furs apparently I was trembling as if very cold, a low fire hissed and crackled near by, mingled with the scent of roasting meat. My first thought was, had I been able to reach him, to push the trigger that needed to be touched.
I assured Ulric I was alright, he decided we were staying in one spot for the moment, I did not argue for sleep was calling me into its embrace, my fingers moved along the larl's tooth. As my other hand held the talisman I had gifted Garyx not long after he had taken me as his mate.
Perhaps I was not descending into that abyss of insanity after all.
There is a reason for me being pulled. And now that I have an idea there is nothing and no one that is going to stop me from finding me.
For a moment I felt a part of myself that had been locked away begin to resurface, for a moment I have hope.
Really, did I expect to.
Foolishly, yes a part of me did.
As I sit within the circle reciting the names of those we call upon only in times of need and ritual, spoken in an old Tuchuk language that very few even now remember exists, it is done with purpose for some things can not be spoken of lightly. I felt as if every cell within me hummed and vibrated, that an intense fire had been lit and I was caught in the middle and yet at the same time I felt ice cold as if the Thassa itself washed over me, the howling within me felt as if the winds of the plains had gathered and taken root within me. So deep had I gone into the place that we as a spex go on rare occasions, that I had forgotten how much it took and how it felt, those of us that are of all the elements are able to harness them and utilize what is associated with them, but, at a price.
Skies, I was going to regret this in a major painful kind of way.
I kept pushing myself, incorporating an ancient jungle ritual in with the clan one, the results were spectacular as for a moment the brilliance of the energy was almost blinding, I almost lost my focus from my amazement, after all these turnings, this astounded me, and it is not easy to leave me speechless. Thank the skies for all those en'vars of training and discipline for even with that, I found myself almost losing control and losing myself, to do so meant I would be lost in every way, and I did not feel that the sky was calling my name yet.
With that iron will determination or as some would say my stubbornness, I gathered every resource I had and knew and focused. At first I did not want to look, I did not want to go back to that day, even now it is like a knife deep in my heart turning and slashing, ripping me apart and letting me bleed, I could not do this without emotion as is most times needed, this was to personal, to deep and to painful I almost stopped but something would not let me, I watched that day play out, I felt the heat of my tears along my cheek as I watched every detail. Then a few small things caught my attention, never noticed by me or anyone else. This gave me some pause and thought, could it truly be it was not Garyx, but he had an uncanny resemblance, but even so, it is hard to tell given the extent of injuries rendered to him, but there was enough to make me question it.
Without warning the moment was gone, instead once more I was shrouded in darkness, only this time I could hear and feel some one, It was Garyx, but he was in pain, the kind of pain that I have never felt and while I could not see, I felt everything he did, and it was beyond what I could handle, for the first time since I was a young girl, I was overwhelmed and the shock of it sent a jolt thru me that seemed to rob me of my very breath, I did not realize that I had screamed out a few times, although I can handle many things, I am not a man, and what he endured was to much for any man to feel, but for me it was almost crippling I swear I could feel my skin rip and bleed, my bones snap and hiss. From a distance I could hear Ulric, the concern and fear in his voice I heard but I could not respond to him. Before I was allowed to be free of this vision, for a brief ehn, I saw Garyx,he was traveling in various places, he seemed to be searching for something, he did not seem himself, but as he reached the plains, something was changing in him a glimpse of his true self was once more rising upward with in him. Knowledge lost was returning, I could see life returning to his eyes, and in an instant it was as if he saw me, and I saw that brilliant, vibrant intensity reach out to me. I reached out to him and then all went black.
It would be many ahns later before I would open my eyes, Ulric had covered me in furs apparently I was trembling as if very cold, a low fire hissed and crackled near by, mingled with the scent of roasting meat. My first thought was, had I been able to reach him, to push the trigger that needed to be touched.
I assured Ulric I was alright, he decided we were staying in one spot for the moment, I did not argue for sleep was calling me into its embrace, my fingers moved along the larl's tooth. As my other hand held the talisman I had gifted Garyx not long after he had taken me as his mate.
Perhaps I was not descending into that abyss of insanity after all.
There is a reason for me being pulled. And now that I have an idea there is nothing and no one that is going to stop me from finding me.
For a moment I felt a part of myself that had been locked away begin to resurface, for a moment I have hope.
